I’ve been getting back into furaffinity.
It simply won without doing nothing too drastic

Of course, controversies aside it’s still the last one standing. Setting it up again gives me some sort of epiphany on the state of art sites.

Though my focus is on the layout. See most places where people post art tend to be in sites where the content is forced in a constant scrolling stream. Art is forced to compete with videos, texts, memes, and shitposts. And if you dont get the attention of the person in such a short span, its gone. A person scrolls up and the connection between the viewer and the art is severed. The pieces that took 3-4 weeks to make has a shelf life of 15-18 mins[1] for twitter and twitter-like websites. But this is counter to the need to have time and effort put into your piece. Painters take long sittings to render a part of their art. Regardless of medium, digital or traditional, creating takes time. That’s why social media sites are not the best place to post art, or to have a main site about art. It’s not meant for art! It’s meant for rapid fire in-the-moment posting

Furaffinity is a breath of fresh air in the sense that there is no scrolling timeline, there is no feed. Its only between you and the people you follow. And you can see what art they posted in your messages. It has that same “corner of the world” feel that this website has. The art posted can live for as long as it’s up. There is definitely no competition here. It’s the reason why I think tumblr and cara fell flat. Cara is too professional has a scrolling feature and tumblr just died. Bluesky isn’t even for artists. It’s twitter without nazis!

Thats why I made this website, and got back in FA. Having a website that stays in place without changing every time you refresh is calm. A big issue I’ve been having lately is being forced to post a whole new painting[2] every Sunday. That is not sustainable at all. But its so easy to get lost in the pace of social media. You have to keep posting to be relevant. For busy people who aren’t chronically online[3]: A nightmare. Whoever said social media is the future definitely thought everyone would enjoy being in an information primordial soup.

All this is just a long winded explanation as to why I haven’t been posting regularly lately. It is technically impressive to post one new piece every week, but that tends to plateau. I’ve been so antsy about the quality of my work, and maybe taking longer times to enjoy the process will lead to better quality. Most of the better quality artists don’t even post every week. This race to post is a symptom of being addicted to the rush of likes. It’s just too much.

Anyway, here’s my furaffinity: https://www.furaffinity.net/user/itsdablazewolf
You can also talk to me on my discord server: https://discord.com/invite/9vj6R38SEV

That’s all from the wolfcat’s desk. Bye!

[1] - https://levitatemedia.com/learn/understand-content-lifespan-maximize-post-life
[2] - Painting in this context means a finished piece
[3] - Me

It's crazy to think but its a whole new revolution around the sun for me.

Been a while since the last update, but hear me out. The bar exams take so much of your life.

While it seems enticing to stay in a hotel for a week, and have all your needs taken care of by an organized group of juniors, the immense pressure to succeed for a whole week outweighs the luxuries. It doesn't feel like you're the king of your domain. But you feel like a soldier being given everything before a suicide mission. I'll tell you more about it one day, when I feel comfortable talking about the bar exam. But this September has been some sort of a wake up call.

As I type this, I'm listening to my friends in a discord voice call. These are one of many calls that I sit around and bum in. For almost 90% of my life, September is full of academic related activities. Now I'm (de facto) unemployed while waiting for the results of my bar exam. Its weird having all this time to myself. So much so that when I found myself lounging in a mall after hanging out with a friend, I asked my parents what errands I could do for them to chase that feeling of doing something, anything.

During the one week I was studying mostly on my own, I realized theres still a new thing to conquer at this age. Its something called adulthood. And its tough. One moment I'm sitting peacefully down on my desk. But now it feels like I got hit by a freight train at high speed, and now a lot has changed. You realize every movement you do costs money. The taxes you pay from work go in the pockets of congressmen and their nepo babies, who flaunt their ill-gotten wealth on social media. (Kind of enraging to grow up in this time.) Back to the point, there comes a point where it hits you that you've all grown up. And having to take care of yourself during the toughest intellectual battle of your life shows that.

So maybe I wont be able to sit with my friends all the time anymore, but I'll be ok coming back and listening to them. Maybe change is scary, but I'll learn to adjust. Maybe some dreams will die, but I'll learn to chase new ones. If I get my leash separated from family, maybe I'll finally run with the world. These are ruminations of the sudden realization that now I'm closer to my 30s than when I started my 20s. Will I be ok having to finally join the rat race without a safety net? Who knows. There are reasons why there are jokes about gifted kids falling and school bums succeeding. It's a completely different hellhole.

If indeed these thoughts seem incoherent. It's probably because I'm at a point in my life where I'm not sure what I am anymore. And these are rapid fire questions that I'll ask today, but will solve in the future.

But today we celebrate for making it this far. Thank you for your support. And I hope life gets better for us.

P.s. Still working on the zine. Dont worry :>

It turns out when you're planning for something, and a huge storm comes in to turn your kitchen into a waterfall, you don't get anything done at all!

Last week a lot were slated to be released. But by the divine providence of the storm everything got flooded. There were a few leaks in my room but the kitchen turned into the hip indoor waterfall everyone wants in their house. Safe to say, other than studying, I couldn't get anything done :(

Not to worry though. At the start of this week, THEN the work begins again. It takes a lot of discipline to keep yourself in check. But we can't play all the time. Though I'd like to share a few things about the zine.

The idea came right after my friend passed away. I sat in the car while it was going to the hospital (for an entirely different, yet equally tense issue) and wrote the whole idea. Reserving the words as it is, its about saying what you wanted to say. Then started the writing. Its the first time I thought of the prompts and ideas instead of taking it from a song. Maybe these were song lyrics all along. But these go without a tune... yet.

I'm excited to share more soon! First, I gotta mop the floors though.